It had been a long couple of years stewarding the life of my son with additional needs.

Key points

• I turned to Psalm 23 in the hopes of some comfort. But in reading those familiar words, all I felt was anger.
• His manifesting goodness and love looks different to how I imagine – I reckon it looks better.
• Listen to the Psalm 23 series and others on Real Hope | The Podcast.

---

Despite progress being made in accessing new forms of therapy, medications, and despite the prayers of so many, it felt as if each day we were taking a step back in his ability to cope with the demands of life.

My husband and I were battle weary to say the least. Anxiety, grief, and despair felt like weeds that we were unable to pull up at the root. No matter how much we trimmed them back, they always returned in abundance.

I turned to Psalm 23 in the hopes of some comfort. But in reading those familiar words, all I felt was anger. ‘God, where are these quiet waters, where is my refreshing and where is the daily evidence of your goodness in my life?’

I turned to Psalm 23, but in reading those familiar words, all I felt was anger.

But then His still small voice showed itself. ‘What if this is my goodness?’ What if anxiety is the very thing that draws you to my refuge? What if grief finds you seeking comfort in my love? What if despair causes you to seek the real hope only found in Jesus? And what if, in finding these things, you become a vessel of My love, hope, and rescue – one who can be my ambassador in a broken world revealing the truth of My goodness?

I realised in this moment all the goodness that had come each day of these long years. How I had formed authentic and rich connections. How I had found depths of healing I would have never experienced if it were not for my circumstance. How I had gained empathy and understanding for parents in a similar struggle, and that God could use me as an authority on hope in their worlds.

His manifesting goodness and love looks different to how I imagine – I reckon it looks better.

So maybe His manifesting goodness and love looks different to how I had imagined – but I reckon it also looks better.

Listen to this episode in the player above.

---

Psalm 23 is a seven-week series. Psalm 23 is one of the best known and loved passages in the Bible. It is the go-to verse for difficult seasons while being foundational for the daily Christian life.

Subscribe to the YouVersion plan or listen to Real Hope | The Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

---

Feature image: Photo by CanvaPro

Episode supplied with thanks to Bek Robinson.

Originally published as ‘God, Where Is Your Goodness?’ in Real Hope, July-August 2024.