Last year I was going through a tough time with a 2 year old and a new born. It was embarrassing to be out with other mums and have Isaiah scream the house down for different, random, pointless reasons.
I felt judged by other mums and felt like I was doing a terrible job as a mum. I prayed to the Lord, saying ‘Lord, may my identity be found in You and not in how well my kids behave’……. to which I’m pretty sure God had a little chuckle to Himself and replied ‘Sure!’
The workers finish their meeting and get straight into it.
The very next day Isaiah went mental……I’m not talking a tantrum, I’m talking mental breakdown type screaming, yelling and crying, ‘Days of our lives’ award winning mental. Of course, being the AMAZING woman of God that I am I instantly smiled and shouted to the heavens ‘Oh Lord, thank you for this beautiful opportunity to practice finding my identity in You!!’…….. I in no way had my own mental break down…..
Sometimes when you’ve waited so long to be a mum you feel like you can never complain about your kids once you have them.
I’m pretty sure every single mum has moments when she wishes she was doing something else…. like a ten hour day in the office sounds pretty awesome right about now.
Of course you love your children, of course you’re grateful you have them and of course you would do anything for them.
The truth is, being a mum is super hard at times. It can be tiring, stressful, and just plain boring. Even as I’m trying to write this blog I have a sick three year old lying on the couch while his brother is trying to headbutt him.
Here’s a few tips on making it through those parenting rough patches:
- Surround yourself with mums who encourage and affirm you.
- Remind yourself that they won’t always fight you to put their pjs on…I haven’t heard of a 16 year old throwing a tantrum about getting dressed
- Try to enjoy the little moments and victories during the day
- Have the confidence and freedom to say ‘i love my kids but I’m struggling to like them today’
- Live a transparent life to encourage other mums to do the same
Every day I’m learning more about how little I know about parenting, but everyday I’m learning more about how much God loves me. I am not defined by my children’s bad behaviour. I am a mum, but I am also a lot of other things. Most importantly I am a child of God and my strength and joy comes from Him first.
So now when I’m out and about, and my ‘threenanger’ throws an almighty tantrum I get down to his level, hold his hands, look kindly into his eyes and say in a calm voice ‘where’s your mummy little boy? I’ll help you find her!’